


Can't do it by the book

by kathkin



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Bottom Merlin (Merlin), First Time, Loss of Virginity, M/M, see notes for content warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:35:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24132169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathkin/pseuds/kathkin
Summary: “Your father told you not to do any sex,” said Merlin, “and you actually didn’t? Bloody hell."It's not considered proper for royalty to have sex outwith marriage.  In which Arthur is given a dirty book and Merlin goes from manservant to de facto sex tutor.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 665





	Can't do it by the book

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written & posted for [this](https://kinkme-merlin.livejournal.com/9322.html?thread=5528170#t5528170) Kink Me Merlin prompt in 2014:
> 
> _Arthur/Merlin - Arthur is due to be married but under his father's instruction (for fear of illegitimate heirs) Arthur has not indulged in any sexual activity and is completely inexperienced. So, to prepare him for his wedding night and subsequent married life, Uther hires Merlin, a tutor who is a few years older than Arthur, to give him lessons and educate him using books etc. However it isn't long before both Merlin and Arthur decide that a more "hands-on" approach would work better and Uther realises he's made a big mistake._
> 
> I present it to you unedited.
> 
> **CW:** One scene includes discussion of very unhealthy medieval sex dynamics & possible marital rape. It's not graphic and all of the sex that occurs is fully consensual.

It hadn’t really sunk in yet, that Arthur was getting married – Arthur was going to be _married_ in just a few days. Merlin had sort of assumed all through the negotiations that it wouldn’t come to anything, like with Elena, but then the treaty had been drawn up and the paperwork signed and they were decorating the castle for a wedding. Merlin was bracing himself for being sent out on flower detail.

It wasn’t that he minded, because Lady Guinevere seemed very nice, from what he’d seen of her, and Arthur seemed to like her quite a lot. It was just the oddness of the whole affair and how tense and moody Arthur had been since the negotiations came to an end. Nerves, Merlin supposed. Couldn’t blame him.

All in all, what with having to help the royal tailor fit Arthur for his wedding clothes and launder the fancy bedsheets that had been set aside for Arthur’s wedding when he was still in his crib to get the must out and the hassle over choosing a new Queen’s chamber since Uther had forbidden anyone to open up the old one – all in all, by three days before the wedding Merlin was nigh impossible to faze.

So when Gaius waylaid him as he was leaving his chambers just after dinner to go and attend Arthur (and finish the chores he was supposed to have done earlier but didn’t because of the wedding preparations) –

“Ah, Merlin, before you go,” said Gaius. “The king wants this given to Arthur.” He was holding out an old and very dusty book. The pages were brown and crinkled around the edges. Merlin wrinkled his nose.

“What is it?”

“Just see that it gets to Arthur, now.” Gaius put the book firmly in Merlin’s hands and gave him a gentle shove towards the door.

– Merlin just shrugged it off. Because really, after everything else, a funny old book was nothing.

*

Arthur was pacing about his room when Merlin arrived with the book, anxiety writ stoic across his face. Merlin decided it was probably best to act casual.

“Hi! Got your boots polished,” he tossed them down on the table, “and got your book.”

Arthur paused in his relentless pacing. “Book?”

“Gaius sent it,” said Merlin with a shrug. “The King wants you to read it or something.”

Arthur took the book, puzzled. He opened it up, flicked through the first few pages, then flushed a pretty shade of pink and slammed it closed. “Thank you, Merlin,” he said through gritted teeth. “You can go now.”

“Um,” said Merlin. “But –”

“No buts,” said Arthur, “we're finished here for the evening and I'm sure Gaius can find something to keep you out of mischief –”

“We're not done!” Merlin snapped a bit too rudely. “I need to clean out the fireplace!”

“I'm sure that can wait.” Arthur's knuckles were turning white on the spine of the book.

“No, it can't,” said Merlin. “Tomorrow we need to get your wedding clothes finalised and they'll need adjusting and the tailor will make me hold the pins again and then the day after that the steward's already recruited me to help decorate for the weddings and the day after that, you're, you're –”

Arthur had put on the appalled face he always put on whenever anyone mentioned the wedding and he was somewhere relatively private. Merlin wasn't sure if to shut up or take advantage of it.

He went on. “Anyway, after tonight I won't have another chance to do it until, until – and you can't have your wedding night with soot spilling out onto the hearth rug!”

Arthur turned to look at the fireplace. And yes, it was filthy. He pulled an even more appalled face, hand pressed over his eyes, and said, voice muffled, “yes. Alright. Fine. Clean the fireplace, just stay over there and for god's sake be _quiet_.”

Merlin frowned. “What's in the book?”

“What's in what?” Arthur's eyes widened.

“The book,” said Merlin. “What is it?”

“Oh, this book!” Arthur stammered. “It's, er, wedding protocol. You know, legal things, er, royal protocol, marriage... laws. It's all very dry and boring and _complicated_ so you mustn't distract me, understand?”

Merlin scowled. Arthur sounded very convincing, but he'd only got into his stride midway through. He was probably lying. But given how anxious he was it was probably best to indulge Arthur.

Cleaning the fireplace was messy work, but it wasn’t particularly engrossing. Arthur’s wedding protocol book, on he other hand, clearly was. Merlin could hear him turning the pages oh-so slowly, lingering on each on one. About five rustling page-turns in, he let out an appalled sound. When Merlin turned to see what the problem was, he snapped,

“Get back to work, Merlin,” face flushed red.

When Merlin finished cleaning the fireplace, Arthur still hadn’t turned the page. He sat hunched over the book with a look of deepest concentration on his face the whole time Merlin wiped the soot off his hands and his face and packed up the cleaning things. He was so deep in concentration that he didn’t move when Merlin stood up.

Merlin edged over, quiet as he could, planning to give Arthur a nudge out of his stupor, but then he could close enough to catch a glimpse of what was in the book.

The page Arthur was looking at had pictures in it, pictures of little people, doing, doing –

“Ohh!” he cried out. Arthur started so hard he almost fell off his chair.

“ _Mer_ lin!”

“That’s a dirty book!” said Merlin. “There’s people shagging in it! Why’d Gaius give you a dirty book?”

The book slammed shut. “Finish your cleaning and get out.”

“I’m already done cleaning,” said Merlin.

“Then _get. Out_ ,” Arthur gritted.

“But,” said Merlin, “but why’ve you got a dirty book?”

“I _told_ you,” said Arthur. “It’s a book of wedding protocol. That includes… relations.”

“So that’s the wedding night chapter?” said Merlin.

“Yes. Now _out_ ,” said Arthur firmly.

“The king… thinks you need a book… about shagging… for your wedding night?” Merlin blinked, puzzled. “What, does he think you don’t already know this stuff?”

Arthur flushed pink again and refused to meet Merlin’s eyes.

“You do know this stuff,” Merlin repeated with rather less certainty, “I mean, you have done… it. Right?”

Arthur shifted, rubbing a hand over his face. “ _Please_ shut up.”

“Oh, my god,” said Merlin. “You _haven’t_ done it?” The look on Arthur’s face was all the confirmation he needed. “Why the hell not? It’s not like no-one would want you, you’re, you’re – I probably shouldn’t finish that sentence.”

“It’s not considered… proper,” said Arthur, “for unmarried royalty to – there’s the risk of bastards and – well my father explained it all to me when I turned thirteen and it was very clear.”

“Your father told you not to do any sex,” said Merlin, “and you actually didn’t?” Arthur shrugged, faux-casual. “Seriously? Bloody hell, when I was that age –”

“Even if,” Arthur swallowed, “even if I tried, it’s common knowledge at court that I’m not supposed to. There’d be… repercussions. For the people involved.”

“If you bedded anyone and your father found out he’d have their heads?” Merlin translated. “So – you’ve seriously never had sex?”

“Oh, and you have, have you?” Arthur snapped.

“Well – yes?” said Merlin, suddenly feeling awkward. “Quite a lot, actually. Not much else to do in the country.” He paused. “You _do_ know there’s ways to do it that don’t risk bastards, right?”

The look on Arthur’s face clearly said that he did not. “Out,” he said again, then, before Merlin could protest. “ _Out_.” He pointed at the door.

“Can I look in the book?” Merlin blurted. “Just quickly?” Arthur glowered. “C’mon, I’ve never seen a sex book before.”

“Fine,” Arthur growled. “If that’s what it takes to get you to leave me alone.”

He hovered beside the able, turning the pages for Merlin, and really that should have made it awkward, since it was a sex book and all, but there was nothing remotely arousing about the pictures in Arthur’s book. None of the people looked particularly like they were enjoying it and some of the positions looked like they’d been drawn by someone who didn’t understand how spines worked.

Arthur turned another page. A black-and-red monstrosity stared out at them. Merlin cringed back. “What _is_ that?”

“It’s,” Arthur craned to read the caption, “a female reproductive organs. I thought you’d seen one of those before? Or –”

“Oh, I’ve seen some, but none of them looked like _that_.” Merlin tilted his head to the side. “It looks like it wants to eat me!”

Arthur was looking pensive. “I’m doomed, aren’t I?” he said, with that special kind of calmness that only came out when he was panicking.

“I’m sure you’re not,” said Merlin. “I mean, you’ve done some stuff, right?” Arthur looked blank. “You must have at least kissed someone.” Still blank. “You haven’t even _kissed_ anyone?”

“Well, one thing leads to another when you do that!” Arthur snapped.

“Not if you don’t want it to!” said Merlin. “Does the book have a kissing chapter?” Arthur flicked through the pages and pointed. “Cause I don’t think you can learn about kissing from a book.”

“Why not?” said Arthur.

“Well,” said Merlin. “Imagine someone wrote a book on sword fighting and someone else were to read it all and then challenge you to a duel –”

“I see your point,” said Arthur.

“You really need to practice.”

“With who?” said Arthur.

“You don’t always need another person,” said Merlin. “You can practice on your arm! It really helped me and Will.” He paused. “Well actually that might just have been because we gave up after a while and snogged each other instead. But still!” Arthur had pulled the most confused and incredulous face Merlin had seen in ages. “What?”

“Out.” Arthur pointed at the door. “Out. _Now_.”

“I have to leave anyway to wash the soot off,” said Merlin, then as Arthur opened his mouth to reply, “and after that I need to come back to tidy up and turn your bed down. Enjoy your book!”

Arthur glared him out of the room.

*

The moment he returned, the door barely closed behind him, Arthur pounced.

“I’m doomed!” he hissed. “I was right the first time, Merlin. I don’t know anything! I don’t even know how to kiss someone!”

Merlin gaped. “My hands are clean now,” he said, holding them up. “I take it the book’s not helping, then?”

Arthur barked out a bitter laugh. “Oh, the book,” he said. “The _book_.” He backed up to the table and hefted the book in his arms. “Here, have a listen.” He raised the book and began to read. “ _And now we turn to the act of sexual intercourse itself. The most important thing you must know is that intercourse is an act of dominance. With this in mind, hold your new wife firmly to the bed, split her labia_ – what? – _and enter her forcefully_.” 

Merlin tried to interject, but Arthur held up a finger and went on. “ _At this stage, the woman will most likely bleed. Do not be alarmed, even if the bleeding is copious, for this is a sign that she has retained her purity and a blessing on your marriage. In fact in many kingdoms it is customary to display the bloodstained bedsheets the morning after the wedding to_ – Merlin, this can’t be right!” Arthur’s tone was almost pleading. “Tell me this isn’t right! It sounds horrifying!”

“Yeah, it really does,” said Merlin.

“Do women seriously bleed?”

“Well the one’s I’ve bedded haven’t,” said Merlin, “and I’ve only slept with one virgin and she didn’t bleed as far as I noticed. I’ve heard that some do their first time though.”

“Copiously?” Arthur choked out. Merlin shrugged. “Alright,” Arthur closed the book. “I’ve been doing my best to act, well, collected, these past few days, so you may not have noticed this, but – it’s possible I’m a little scared. About the wedding.”

Merlin blinked. It took him a moment to realise Arthur was dead serious. “I didn’t notice a thing,” he said, “truly, you are a master actor –”

“Shut up.”

“Born for the stage, I tell you –”

“Merlin. _Shut. Up_.” He held the book up. “Is anything in here actually true?”

“Lemme look,” said Merlin. Arthur opened the book and flipped to the page with the diagrams of people shagging. “Huh.”

“Well?” said Arthur.

“Well,” said Merlin. “Spines don’t bend that way, women’s breasts don’t usually hang down to their stomachs, by the angle I’d say he was sticking it in her tummy button instead of her woman parts, and also if she looks that bored you’re doing something very wrong.” Arthur was silent. “Also the man’s ear is on his neck but that might be a stylistic thing.”

“I see.” Arthur closed the book and very slowly put it back on the table. “I feared this might be the case when I looked at the title plate and saw it was written by a monk.”

“That would explain a lot,” Merlin concurred.

Arthur was silent for a moment. Then, “Merlin. _Help me_.”

“What?” said Merlin.

“I am asking you,” Arthur said carefully, “for your advice, _Mer_ lin. This is a very rare event and will probably never happen again, so for god’s sake take advantage of it.”

“Okay,” said Merlin. “You want my advice?” Arthur nodded. “Don’t bend her spine that way. It will break and she _will_ die.”

“Merlin, I was serious!” Arthur snapped.

“So was I! Spinal injuries are serious business!”

“Mer _lin_ ,” Arthur whined.

“Why are you asking me, anyway?” said Merlin. “I don’t know all that much!”

“You know more than me and apparently you know more than a monk,” said Arthur. 

“Yeah, well, Gregory in the stables know a _whole_ lot more than me,” said Merlin. “He’s the one all the servants go to. You should –”

“I’m not asking Gregory from the stables, Merlin,” Arthur growled, “I’m asking you.”

“Oh,” said Merlin. Arthur sounded so earnest. “Well. When you put it like that.” Arthur gestured for him to go on. “First of all, it isn’t supposed to be scary. It’s supposed to be fun.”

“It’s supposed to make children,” Arthur said as if that were the most _serious_ of serious business.

“Yes, but it’s also supposed to be fun, else no-one would do it. You just have to relax and act natural. And don’t think of it as a dominance thing.” Arthur groaned. “So don’t be pinning her to the bed, unless she asks you to, because some people like that kind of thing, but it’s best not to assume –”

Arthur held up a hand to stop him. “Okay. Question. What’s a labia?”

“I haven’t heard the word before,” said Merlin, “but if I had to guess I’d say it’s the foldy bits.”

“Foldy bits?” Arthur’s eyebrows arched gracefully.

“Yeah, woman have two lots of folds,” said Merlin, feeling emboldened despite his lack of vocabulary, “an outside one and an inside one. And you do have to part them but not right away, you have to work up to it – I don’t think we should be starting with this part. You can’t just dive straight in to – these things. You have to start slow.”

“How’d you mean?” Arthur asked. He had one hand rested on the back of a chair, acting casual.

“Well when I was doing it, we started with kissing, and then sort of through the clothes touching, and then worked our way up to proper sex from there,” said Merlin. “It takes time.”

“I don’t have time,” said Arthur.

“You still have to start with kissing,” said Merlin. “You’ve seriously never kissed anyone?”

“No! No I have not!” said Arthur. “Assume I know nothing, alright? Or almost nothing, anyway, I had a very awkward conversation with Gaius once but he kept talking about birds so I didn’t understand all of it – you were saying?”

“You need to learn how to kiss,” said Merlin. “You could try the arm thing!”

“I’m not doing the arm thing,” said Arthur.

“Why not? It worked for me and Will.”

“No,” said Arthur flatly. “Just talk me through it.”

“That’s really not much better than a book,” said Merlin.

“Give it your best shot,” said Arthur.

“Okay, fine,” said Merlin. He swallowed and summoned up all of his snogging know-how. “The first thing you have to do when you kiss someone is let them know you’re going to kiss them.”

“I see,” said Arthur. “What, ask them?”

“You can just ask,” said Merlin. “So, you could say, ‘may I kiss you?’ or if you’re feeling bold you could try ‘I’m going to kiss you now’ and that works sometimes, but you don’t have to say anything. The important thing is just that you mustn’t go straight in and stick your tongue down her throat without warning her. That’ll get you slapped.”

“I doubt Guinevere would slap me somehow,” said Arthur, “but go on.”

“But you don’t have to talk,” said Merlin. “You can just sort of… signal.”

“Signal how?” Arthur asked.

“The first thing you have to do is go up close,” said Merlin.

Arthur pushed off from the chair and took a few confident steps forward, till he was a few scant inches away from Merlin. “Like this?”

Heat prickled in Merlin’s stomach. This was getting interesting. “Yeah, that’s a good level of closeness.”

“Then what?” He sounded so earnest. Merlin was beginning to see how Arthur was such a quick learner. 

“Then you have to touch them,” said Merlin. “Put your hands on them. Somewhere neutral, but nice – shoulders is good, or hips, or –” Arthur’s hands rested firmly on his waist. “Yeah, that’s good too.”

“What do I do next?” said Arthur.

“You have to wait a moment,” said Merlin. “Let them… react. See what they do. If they move or away or just stand there all awkward-like you should back down but they sort of – like –” He leaned in, tilting his head to avoid clashing noses, positioned his lips about an inch away from Arthur’s.

“That’s a pretty clear signal,” said Arthur. “So I can kiss you now?”

Merlin honestly wasn’t sure how he meant that, so he said, “yeah, now would be the time.”

Arthur darted in and pressed his lips to Merlin, startling him. There followed an awkward sort of sucking that took a few seconds to be an actual kiss. Arthur couldn’t seem to figure out what to do with his tongue. Then he bit Merlin on the lip.

“Ow,” Merlin said, muffled. He pulled back.

“How was that?” said Arthur.

“That was… okay,” said Merlin. “I mean, it wasn’t completely terrible.” Arthur scowled. “I’d say maybe a four out of ten. If I was being generous.”

Arthur lifted his hands off Merlin’s hips. “You said to act natural!”

“You bit me!”

“I didn’t bite you, you stuck your lip between my teeth!”

“You bit me,” said Merlin firmly. “And biting is not good. Don’t bite her unless she says you can.” Arthur scoffed. “See, that’s your problem. You just kept pushing.”

“I don’t follow,” said Arthur.

“You can’t just _push_ like that,” said Merlin. “Like I said, it’s not a dominance thing. You were all take and no give. You have to give and let her push too.”

Arthur nodded slowly. “That… actually almost made sense.”

“I try,” said Merlin. “Want to go again?”

“You lead, I follow,” said Arthur.

Merlin stepped forward. “Okay, well,” he said, “just make sure to go easy on the tongue to begin with, yeah?” Arthur nodded and took Merlin by the waist again.

Merlin pressed his lips to Arthur’s, and for a second or two it was only slightly less awkward than the first time, because Arthur went from rigid to fumbling, but then by some miracle they found a rhythm that worked. Arthur’s grip on Merlin’s waist tightened, Merlin’s hand somehow slid round the back of Arthur’s neck to pull him still closer, and then then tongues slid together just-so and sent a full-body shiver shaking through Merlin and he pulled back to catch his breath.

“Better?” said Arthur, unbearably smug.

“Um,” said Merlin. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d give that about a seven.”

Arthur leaned his forehead against Merlin’s. “I’m sure we can do better than a seven.”

“Okay, whoa,” Merlin backed away, untangling their limbs. “Whoa. How far are you planning to take this, exactly?”

“Well,” said Arthur, arms still half stretched out, “how far can we take it?”

“Pretty far!” Merlin snapped. He took a deep breath. “Arthur, look – you’re getting married in a few days, and you said yourself that you’re scared, and I’m your manservant and – I just don’t think this is appropriate.” The last few words were a struggle, because something had clicked between them just then and the last thing he wanted to do was walk away now, but they just – couldn’t. “You’re panicking.”

“I’m not panicking!” said Arthur. “You don’t understand, Merlin. I have no idea what I’m doing. On our wedding night – either me and Guinevere will both be so clueless we won’t be able to, or else I’ll try and do it and make a hash of it somehow, and then she’ll tell all the other ladies – you know how ladies gossip – and the next thing I know it’ll be all over Camelot that Prince Arthur can’t bed his wife properly, and – my reputation is on the line, Merlin, goddamn you!”

“Oh no, not your reputation,” said Merlin, deadpan. He considered this further. “Also, not all women are gossips. Maybe Guinevere will turn out not to be gossipy.”

“I can’t hang my reputation on a _maybe_ , Merlin,” Arthur gritted out.

Merlin shook his head. “Well, still. I’m not going to be your practice dummy.” He folded his arms.

“You wouldn’t be a practice dummy,” Arthur’s tone was probably meant to be reassuring. “You’re be a – sex tutor.”

“Sex tutor?” Merlin raised an eyebrow, but honestly, he liked the sound of that.

“Besides, it’s not as if we could even do it, since we’re both men,” said Arthur. “I just need you to talk me through it. I think that would help a lot.”

Merlin bit his lip and wondered if he should point out the obvious. “I guess,” he said. “You do know two men can have sex, though, right?”

“Don’t be silly, Merlin,” said Arthur. “I’m not that clueless. The parts don’t line up.”

“Depends how inventive you are,” said Merlin. A look of profound confusion crossed Arthur’s face. “And I don’t know, Arthur – why _me?_ I really don’t know all that much and you’re probably be better off with a woman, and –”

“I want to do this with you,” said Arthur, “because I trust you not to tell the whole castle. And because, well, I trust you.”

Merlin’s heart melted a little at how earnest he sounded. “I guess,” he said, “I guess I could talk you through it. A little.”

“Excellent!” Arthur looked thoroughly delighted. “Where do we start?”

“Well first we’d have to get undressed.”

“Yes, obviously, I know that part,” Arthur snapped.

“No, you don’t get it,” said Merlin. “I mean obviously you have to be naked – or you don’t _have_ to be but it’s preferable, er – but if you have the time it’s not just something you have to do before you start. If you have the time it’s part of the fun and you’ll have all night, won’t you?”

“How is undressing fun, exactly?” said Arthur.

“Well if you do it all slowly,” said Merlin, “and you’re getting all the way naked. It can be sexy.”

Arthur nodded. “I see your point. Get your clothes off, then.”

“No,” said Merlin firmly.

“Excuse me?”

“You have to undress me,” said Merlin.

“I am _not_ ,” said Arthur, “undressing my own manservant.”

“Ah, but I’m not your manservant right now, am I? I’m your sex tutor.” Merlin paused. “Also in this scenario I’m the Lady Guinevere so you have to treat me like a lady. So go on. Undress me.” He spread his arms.

Arthur sighed, but walked over. “You’re ridiculous,” he said. “It’s not like you’re even wearing the same sort of clothes.”

“It’s the principle that matters.” Arthur started to briskly strip off his jacket, and the oddness of having Arthur undress him made Merlin snicker. Arthur had to disguise a glower.

“Something funny?” he said sweetly, tossing the jacket onto a nearby chair.

“No, no,” said Merlin. Arthur reached around to the back of his neck to take off Merlin’s neck scarf.

Then they hit a snag. “What have you done to this thing?” said Arthur, tugging vainly at the knot. “Honestly –”

“I triple-tied it! It kept coming off,” said Merlin. “Oh, look, I’ll do it.” He batted Arthur away and unfastened his own scarf.

“Right. Arms up,” said Arthur, then, while Merlin’s face was inside his shirt, “that wasn’t very sexy at all.”

“That’s cause I’m not actually the Lady Guinevere,” said Merlin, voice muffled.

“It has to be said,” said Arthur, snatching Merlin’s shirt away, “you lack her many charms. You can take off your own shoes. I’m not dealing with your feet.”

“Hey, I have _lovely_ feet,” said Merlin. “I’m Lady Guinevere, remember?”

Arthur smiled thinly. “Be Merlin again for a bit,” he said. “Take off your shoes and turn down the bed?”

“Fine,” said Merlin, a chill settling in his stomach.

Once Arthur had turned his back to collect himself, he kicked off his shoes and went to adjust the bed, taking as much time over it as he could. He snagged the oil Arthur had been using for his muscles earlier and left it by the bed, just in case.

“All ready?” said Arthur, suddenly looming over him. “Get up on the bed?”

Merlin settled in amongst the pillows and watched Arthur sit down to take off his own boots. “You really should have done that just now,” he said.

“The flagstones are cold,” said Arthur. He turned to look at Merlin again, and his eyes were so very fond. Merlin’s head was spinning from all the mixed signals, and because oh yeah, Arthur was getting _married_. “You look very comfortable.”

“Your bed is soft,” said Merlin.

“That’s because it was built for royalty,” said Arthur. He stepped out of his boots and climbed up onto the bed, kneeling between Merlin’s legs so suddenly that he had to shift back a bit. “Alright, then, sex tutor. Do your job.”

“Um,” said Merlin. “Well you want to start slow, obviously. I mean at this stage there should probably be more kissing before –”

“Like this?” said Arthur, then before Merlin could say anything cupped a hand around the back of his neck and tugged him in to kiss him, quick and wet and curiously intense.

Merlin breathed. “Yeah, like that,” he said. Arthur was arched over him, looming. “You’re getting a lot better.”

“I’m a quick learner.” Arthur’s voice was low. His hand had drifted to Merlin’s shoulder. He squeezed gently. “What next?”

“You’d have to,” said Merlin, “work your way down. To the fun parts.” Arthur hummed a response, eyes drifting downwards. “Start with her breasts. Most girls like having their breasts played with, and they’re fun to play with, so you should definitely – well, just pretend I have breasts.”

“And lovely breasts they are too.” Arthur rested a hand on Merlin’s chest, looking thoughtful. One of his thumbs brushed Merlin’s nipple and he had to force himself not to shudder. His nipples were ungodly sensitive and Arthur would never let him live that down. 

Arthur stroked him again. “Like this?”

“Yeah, that usually works,” Merlin gabbled. “I mean not on all girls, if she looks bored it’s probably a good idea to move on, but – some people are sensitive all the way down, some aren’t, you have to pay attention. Oh, and mouths. Mouths are fun too.”

“How’d you mean?” Arthur’s thumb was still moving lazily across Merlin’s nipple. Merlin wasn’t sure if he hasn’t noticed that it did to him or if Arthur just liked watching him squirm.

“Like what you’re doing with your hand, but with your mouth,” said Merlin. “Not that you should do that, I just mean for future reference – oh, _gods_.” Arthur’s tongue rasped across his nipple, then again, hotly. His head span.

He pushed Arthur’s head again and scrambled back up the bed. “Okay, okay,” he said. “Give me a minute.”

“You’re sensitive.” Arthur rested a hand on Merlin’s hip. He was smirking.

“A bit,” said Merlin. “Maybe. And wipe that smirk off your face, this part is important.”

“Of course,” said Arthur, apparently fascinated with the hair on Merlin’s stomach. Merlin slapped his hand away.

“It is!” he said. “Look – women get wet. When they’re excited.”

“Huh.” Arthur took notice. “Do you know, the book actually mentioned that part?”

“Oh, really?” said Merlin. “Good for you the book. Anyway, if she’s not, y’know, wet, then you can’t – you know. Go inside. You’ll hurt her and she’ll probably slap you. So you have to make sure she’s enjoying herself before you can – you know.”

“You have trouble with words, don’t you?” Arthur raised an eyebrow.

“Shut up. It’s important.” Merlin flushed.

“Alright,” said Arthur. “Can we just assume she’s enjoying herself and skip ahead? I mean, you seem to be enjoying yourself.”

Merlin swallowed. “Okay. If you’re going to start touching her woman parts – it’s like with kissing, you have to start slow and signal that you’re going to touch her there so she won’t be startled. So if you put your hand sort of –” He took Arthur by the wrist and positioned his hand on the inside of his thigh, up near his crotch. Arthur squeezed gently. “Yeah, there. And give her a moment or two to react.”

“And how are you reacting?” Arthur asked, still squeezing.

“Good,” said Merlin. “I’m reacting good.”

“Great,” said Arthur. “Take off your trousers.”

Merlin flinched. “You know I don’t have the same anatomy, right?” he said.

“Yes, but it’s the _principle_.” Arthur pouted. “I mean. What could we even do?”

“Well there’s things,” said Merlin, “and some of them are quite like – sex between a man and a lady, but – it’s different, and –” Oh, but he wanted to. He’d not had sex with another man in a while, and when he did they tended to be more interested in trading blow jobs than giving him a proper shagging, and with Arthur – he had to not think about it too hard in case he got, well, hard.

“Might be good practice, though.” His fingers were tracing patterns on Merlin’s thigh through the too-thick cloth off his breeches and his insides were all tied in knots to keep from shaking.

“Fine,” he said, “but you take off your shirt first, I’m not being all naked while you’re still got your clothes on.”

Arthur shrugged and knelt up to strip his shirt off and for a moment Merlin could relax, but then Arthur was shirtless and things were awkwardly arousing again. He bit his lip and willed Little Merlin to behave.

“Your turn.” Arthur nodded at Merlin’s crotch, seemingly unruffled. 

Merlin did his best not to meet Arthur’s eye as he unlaced his breeches and wriggled out of them, feeling all too sweaty and bony spread out before Arthur.

“Like I said,” he went on, trying to sound casual and look pointedly at Arthur’s left shoulder. “You have to make sure she’s enjoying it. So you have to – touch her. And it’s not as straightforward as you’d think, girls are complicated.”

“Right,” said Arthur.

“See,” said Merlin. He didn’t dare look but he had a horrible feeling Arthur’s gaze was trained on his dick. “Girls have. A special place. Up near the top.”

Silence. “What?” said Arthur.

“It wasn’t on your diagram,” said Merlin, feeling a little more confident, especially now Arthur was looking at his face rather than his crotch. “I looked. I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s a sort of – bump. At the top, where the foldy bits meet.”

“I’m starting to doubt your credentials as a sex tutor,” said Arthur.

“It’s true, I promise!” said Merlin. “And it can be kind of hard to find, but once you find it, if you can figure out how to touch it right, then you’re in, she’ll get wet for sure.”

“And once she’s wet, I can –”

“If she wants you to,” said Merlin. “It’s about give and take, remember? If you’re not both having fun you’re not doing it right. You need to explore. And don’t be afraid to use your mouth, like I said.”

“What is it with you and mouths?” said Arthur.

“Mouths are fun!” Arthur was toying with Merlin’s stomach again. He slapped his hand away. “But yeah, once she’s wet, then you can, you know. Inside. But be gentle, and don’t go in too far – if you push in too far you’ll hurt her, and you have to start slow, like always. Just make sure you pay attention to how she’s doing. And try not to put all your weight on her. You’re heavy, she might not be able to breathe.”

“And breathing is important. I see,” said Arthur. “So what do we do now?”

Merlin hesitated. Because he so did not want to just be Arthur’s practice shag, if they did this he wanted it to be because they both wanted it, for its own sake, now would be a good time to end the lesson and back down, but this was probably his only chance – “Well like I said, there’s a thing that’s close.” Arthur looked thoroughly confused. “Will you hand me the oil?” He nodded at the table.

“Massage oil?” Arthur passed it to him. “What for?”

“Hard to explain,” said Merlin. “I’ll show you.” He slicked his fingers up, slow, to give Arthur a chance to realise what a terrible idea this was, then took a deep breath and reached down behind his own balls.

“What are you –” A horrified look spread across Arthur’s face. “Oh, please tell me you didn’t just stick those up your arse.”

“I didn’t.” Merlin bit his lip. It had been a while since he'd done this and it was a bit uncomfortable, he just had to get the angle right and –

“Why would you _do_ that?” said Arthur as Merlin let out a shaky sigh.

“Hey, you wanted practice, this is the best way,” said Merlin.

Arthur screwed up his face. “That's disgusting.”

“I'll have you know my arse is lovely,” said Merlin. Arthur made a disbelieving sound. “And it feels good, alright? Promise.” He worked his fingers in deeper, stretching himself lazily.

“Alright,” Arthur said after a pause. “Alright. I can kind of see why _some people_ might want to stick their dick up – there. But why in god's name would _you_ want to have _anything_ – I mean, _why_?”

“It’s actually pretty straightforward.” Merlin half-pulled out his fingers and sat up a little. “You know how I said that girls have a special place?”

“Ye-s,” said Arthur, doubtful.

“Well, men have one too, except ours are up our arses.” Merlin smiled. Arthur's face went from doubtful to disbelieving to ‘Merlin, don’t even’. 

“You’re making that up.”

“No, it’s true!” Merlin tugged his fingers all the way out of himself so as to better gesticulate. “I looked it up in one of Gaius’ books. It's called a prostate gland and it's part of the male reproductive system.” He sat back, satisfied at actually knowing something for once. Arthur’s face softened a little, but it still looked disbelieving. “You’ve got one too, you know.”

“No, I do not,” Arthur snapped.

“If you don't believe me, I'll show you,” said Merlin, reaching for Arthur's hand. “Here.”

“What are you going to do?” Arthur flinched, but then let Merlin take his wrist and guide his fingers to Merlin's arsehole. “If you think I'm touching you there –”

“S’okay, I'm clean, I bathed this morning,” said Merlin. “C’mon.” He pressed Arthur's unresisting fingers up against his hole and pushed inside. Arthur's fingers were thicker than his and he had to choke back a noise at the new sensation. Arthur hissed, maybe in disgust, maybe just because it felt strange.

“You have to,” said Merlin, guiding Arthur's fingers deeper. “Get the angle right, look –” Arthur had started to move his fingers, exploring, face curious. Merlin tilted his hips up, lifting them off the bed, legs opening wider, till Arthur’s questing fingers were pressing right up against his prostate. “Like that,” he said, swallowing, head falling back against Arthur's soft pillows. “Oh, yes, just like that – no,” Arthur shifted his hand, fingers moving into the wrong place, “a little – to the other side – yes, _that_.” He closed his eyes and gave himself over to the sensation, gasping.

Arthur’s hand pressed against his thigh, holding his legs open and when Merlin opened his eyes he was looking down at him, expression one of pure astonishment. “I think the stuff you’ve been saying just started making sense,” he said, voice heavy with arousal, then, shakily, “Oh, _fuck_.”

Merlin opened his mouth to reply, but Arthur kissed him, tongue pushing into his mouth, hot and wet and frantic, fingers still stroking hard against his prostate, and they should stop, stop before things went any further, but it felt so good, Arthur hot and heavy and pinning him down against the velvet-soft bedsheets, Merlin couldn’t seem to think straight.

“Oh, god,” he said, spreading his legs wider, letting Arthur in. “C’mon, then.” Arthur moaned, lips still half-pressed to Merlin's, and scrabbled to unfasten his breeches.

His cock was as gorgeous as the rest of him and Merlin had his hand around it before he knew what he was doing, slicking it up. Arthur’s breath was damp against his neck, hands clinging to his shoulders, fingers digging into his back.

Merlin pushed him off, mumbling, then reached down to guide Arthur into him, their fingers intermingling as Arthur spread him eagerly. Merlin braced himself, because it’d been a while since he’d done this, but evidently some of his tutoring had sunk in because Arthur was surprisingly gentle, or maybe just cautious, pushing in slow and firm. Merlin pressed his heels into the bed and shoved back, and then Arthur was all the way inside him, letting out harsh, desperate breaths, muscles flexing all over his body.

His face was pressed into Merlin’s shoulder. He pulled himself up and looked Merlin in the eye, stunned. Merlin swallowed.

“Well, that escalated quickly,” he said, trying to keep his voice even.

“Do you want to stop?” Arthur gritted, as if the words were actually physically painful.

“No,” said Merlin, too quickly. “I mean. No. You need to learn. Just go slow. Slow as you can.”

Arthur took a deep, deep breath and began to pull out, torturously slow, then in again, Merlin's hand pressed to the small of his back to keep him paced. His hands were gripping the pillows alongside Merlin’s head, white-knuckled, his eyes were screwed shut again, but he was trying, he was really trying, shaking with the effort. And it was good, it was _really_ good, Arthur’s cock thick and hard inside him, rubbing tantalisingly against his prostate, so he let up pretty quick.

“Okay,” he gasped out, “a little faster. Go on.”

Arthur whimpered and sped up, and Merlin made encouraging sounds, like this was actually a lesson and not just an excuse for dirty frantic sex three days before a wedding. 

And the _noises_ he was making, Merlin hadn’t known Arthur could make noises that pathetically desperate, he was practically whimpering he wanted to fuck Merlin so bad, and Merlin wanted it too, _god_ he wanted it, his whole body throbbed with every thrust, but it was the principle of the thing.

Then Arthur gasped, “ _please_ ” into his ear, hoarse, and Merlin said, “yeah, go on, do it,” before he could stop himself. Arthur’s cock went from a slow steady pulse inside him to a frantic pounding, and every thrust seemed to roll through every inch of Merlin's body, setting him burning.

And if there was doubt left in Merlin's mind about whether Arthur really wanted to do this with _him_ or if he was just the nearest warm body it was thoroughly dispelled by Arthur's voice in his ear, choking out, “Merlin, oh fuck, _yes_ , Merlin _yes_ , god, you're so –” The sound alone was enough to make Merlin’s cock jerk against his belly, and he writhed.

Arthur gasped “ _Merlin_ ,” once more, and then he was coming, hips jerking back and forth, yelling out guttural half-words, his whole body shaking with the force of it.

He slumped on top of Merlin, spent, and Merlin blinked up at the ceiling, not sure quite how this had gotten so far. 

After a moment, he poked at Arthur's sweating shoulder. Arthur moaned. “C’mon,” said Merlin, prodding him again. “C’mon. I haven't come yet.”

“Leave m’alone. I'm done,” said Arthur.

“You’re not done,” said Merlin. “ _I’m_ not done, so you're not done either. You really haven’t learned anything, have you?”

Arthur groaned and pushed himself up with a great show of effort. “What?” he said. Merlin sighed and took hold of Arthur's hand, shoving it down to wrap around his cock. 

“Come _on_ ,” he said. Arthur made a disgruntled sound, but Merlin knew enough to know he was faking it, he seemed curious, but as soon as his hand was firmly on Merlin's prick Merlin didn’t much care any more.

He was close already, it didn’t take long till he was shaking through his own orgasm, clutching at Arthur's shoulders, finally, _finally_ satisfied.

Once he’d got his breath back, he pushed Arthur off gently and he went easily, slumping down face first amid his pillows. Merlin waited till he was reasonably sure Arthur was asleep, then got up and picked his way down the bed till where he'd left his breeches.

He was halfway into them when Arthur pushed himself up on his elbows, yawning. “ _Mer_ lin,” he said. “What are you doing?”

“Oh,” said Merlin, hands tangled in his laces. “Oh! Um. Well, I think this lesson is over, and, er, you’ve done very well – I really do think you’ve learned a lot, so I’ll just be going now.”

“Will you?” Arthur was sitting up now, apparently all recovered.

“Well we both have things to do tomorrow, we need to, y’know, sleep,” said Merlin. “And we were just messing around, so it’s not like –”

“Oh, were we?” said Arthur.

“Don’t do that,” said Merlin. “We’re done here, you’re all ready for the wedding, and honestly we probably shouldn’t have let that get as far as it did, so –”

“It looks rather as if my father was right about kissing,” Arthur said gravely.

“Yes,” said Merlin. “I mean, no! I mean – I'm going to put my shirt on.”

“Take off your breeches and get back in bed,” said Arthur, lying back down. “It’s late, I'm too tired to deal with this.” 

“What? Why?” Merlin sputtered, glancing at the door.

“Well, for one thing I'll need you first thing tomorrow or else the steward might get a hold of you and make you do stupid things with flowers before you can dress me –”

“Dress yourself, it’s not that hard,” said Merlin.

“And for another thing, I’m telling you to get back in the bed, so get back in the bed.” Arthur settled back down amid his luxurious sheets, smugly satisfied smile on his face. Merlin hesitated, then dropped trou and hurried back over before Arthur could change his mind.

“For future reference,” said Arthur as Merlin climbed into the bed, “your teaching skills need work.”

“Well, your sex skills need work,” Merlin retorted.

“Maybe you can help me out with that,” said Arthur. One of his arms snaked out and reeled Merlin in by the neck, fingers trailing through his hair. 

“But you’re getting married,” said Merlin, lump forming in his throat.

Arthur winced. “Shut _up_ , Merlin,” he said. “Not now. Leave it till the morning.” He pulled Merlin in tighter, and Merlin pressed his face into Arthur’s shoulder and breathed in.

He didn't much want to think about the wedding either.


End file.
